Well, we made it through yet another season of Vanderpump Rules and it looks like it may be the last one. Or at least, the last season with these people where the show looks the way we are used to it looking. There could be a recasting, a revamp, or just a straight up cancellation. What lies ahead is not entirely clear, but what I do know is that this season was one for the books – for better or for worse. Let’s look back on the second half of the season and all the opinions I have on it. Spoiler alert: I have a lot!

I haven’t always been a fan of Ms. Madix. In fact, there were many seasons on this show where I really disliked this woman. While I have always admired her transparency around her mental health and her ability to stand up for herself, I have also agreed with her biggest criticism from cast members and viewers alike: she has a superiority complex. Ariana has always thought she was better than the people on this show and regardless of whether or not she is right in that belief, it makes her unbearable to watch sometimes.

It is true that the holier-than-thou attitude usually works pretty well on reality TV – think: Stassi Schroeder or Lisa Barlow or Lisa Vanderpump herself. It is super entertaining to watch someone’s delusions of grandeur take part in the unhinged drama that Bravo lives off of. Why it didn’t always work with Ariana is nuanced. First of all, she didn’t own it in the way that LVP or Stassi did. She also didn’t allow it to make her into an absolute unhinged maniac like it does with Lisa Barlow. Instead Ariana is mostly denying this complex and only allows her deranged side come out every once in a while. Perhaps there is a balance to wearing this hubris that Ariana has never quite mastered, but regardless of all that she has found the moment for this part of herself to shine and she isn’t wasting a moment of it.

Because of this scandal, Ariana is simply unable to control her rage and it is a thing of beauty. Angry women are, after all, what this show has been built on since the first time Stassi screamed “this is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY” on our television screens. The women of Vanderpump Rules are at their best when they are thoroughly enraged and don’t hold it back. Seeing Ariana finally get her moment to seethe and for it to be so undeniably justified has truly turned around so many of the negative things I have felt about her over the years. What can I say, I love angry women!

Watching this season has also made me an angry woman. It’s not just the ridiculous way this cast is reacting to Ariana’s hurt and anger, but the way the general public is responding. I don’t know who needs to hear this, because it feels pretty common sense to me, but I will say it anyway: there is no “right way” to grieve. Grief not only changes as we work through it, but it manifests itself differently in every person. Grief is a process and it’s not a pretty one, so don’t go expecting people to be at their best when they are working through it. To those who may have forgotten: ARIANA IS GRIEVING!!! Not just the loss of her nearly 10 year relationship, but the loss of Tom as she used to know him in her life. Just because she has been reaping positive outcomes from this situation doesn’t make the grief disappear. This stuff is not easy to deal with and she deserves a hell of a lot of grace for going through all this on camera.

The anger she is feeling and that we are reveling in each week is a very natural part of the grieving process. The way the anger looks might be different person to person, but it is there regardless of how it manifests itself. In Ariana’s case, this anger is loud, unapologetic, and coming from a place of self-preservation. Think of her most angry moments this season – the beach outing and Lala’s water tasting come to mind. These are moments when Ariana’s friends are putting her in a situation where she is forced to hang out with her ex and where people are trying to talk about it when she clearly doesn’t want to. The resulting anger is an instinctual reaction to protect herself from further harm. She does not want to be around this man or try to hash it out with people who are not immediately a part of the situation. If they don’t get that, say it a little louder with your whole chest. And oh boy is she ever speaking LOUD and CLEAR for them to hear.

Unfortunately if feels like all this is falling on deaf ears. With the exception of Katie, the members of this cast don’t seem to hear the words that Ariana is saying. Instead, they focus on how she is saying it and use that as a way to criticize the way she is healing. She isn’t dealing with it directly, she isn’t sad enough about it, she is in denial. It’s infuriating to watch and read online from people who simply witnessed this scandal or experienced it peripherally. Ariana is living it and you don’t get to shit all over the way she is dealing with it.

Yes, I am talking about Lauren from Utah. This woman has been so vocal about her disapproval and lack of understanding about Ariana’s reaction to this situation. She is nitpicking everything and is fixated on details that she can’t move past. Namely, the fact that she is still living in the same house as Sandoval and the fact that she has moved on so quickly to Dan. Let’s flesh both of these things out, because they are equally maddening:

• First of all, the house situation is weird. I won’t even try to deny that. Her and Tom are both being insanely stubborn about it, but it’s fair to say that neither of them is able to think clearly about it due to the aforementioned grief. Regardless of the weirdness, Ariana staying in that house with Tom should not be the issue that some people make it out to be. Just because they share a living space doesn’t mean they talk or interact in anyway. In fact, I think that has become extremely clear over the course of this season. Lala’s inability to understand why Ariana won’t talk to Tom in the finale when they sleep under the same roof is literally laughable – I laughed out loud when she said it. Proximity is not the same thing as interaction. If she got past the house thing for one measly second or even gave Ariana the time of day, she would realize that there is no effort made on Tom’s part without cameras around. No matter how close they happen to be, the interaction IS.NOT.THERE!
• The Dan situation is a lighter topic and I am smiling at my keyboard as I type this because I BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN! Hearing Ariana talk about how she was hesitant to pursue Dan at the wedding where they met and yet feeling so drawn to him despite her nerves is the stuff of romance novels. It’s often said that you find the thing you are looking for when you’re not looking. People who are criticizing how quickly she moved on don’t seem to realize that she wasn’t looking to move on, life just happened to present her with the right person during that time.

I don’t think Ariana should have come back to this show and put herself through all this nonsense. Besides Katie and James, these people are too caught up in their own lives to actually be there for their “friend” who is hurting. The healthy thing to do would be to sever ties with the man, the people who support him, and the show that continuously makes an effort to prop him up in the public eye. But she did come back and I hope she feels some sort of closure from this mess with these messy ass people.

While I have rarely found myself on Ariana’s side during the previous 10 seasons of this show, I have been here for Lala since the moment she came on my television screen. Is she ridiculous and cringe? Yes, but there is something so likeable about her too. Plus, the fact that she is completely sober and is still a bit of a crazy maniac is the stuff of reality TV legends. But my perception of Lala has always seen her for what she is on this show: a side character. The limelight was always for Stassi or Jax or Tom or Katie or Kristen. It was never for her, but that was okay.

Well, it was okay for me. Lala doesn’t seem to like it very much. With the likes of Jax, Stassi, and Kristen gone from the show, I think Lauren from Utah thought she would be getting more central storylines. So sorry that Tom blew up Ariana’s life and took the attention away from you, Lala. But instead of being a good friend, Lala does what Lala does best: antagonizes and stirs the pot. I have loved her in the past for doing this exact shit, but this time around it is not fun to watch. It’s mean and it’s wildly hypocritical. Her clear jealousy toward the attention Ariana is getting for being a victim of a high publicity scandal is Housewives level petty. Maybe Schwartz was onto something when he called her a “bootleg housewife.”

Lala went through something extremely traumatic herself at the hands of one Randall Emmett. No one is taking that away from her or minimizing that. What they are doing is pointing out the inconsistencies that Lala has repeatedly shown in her complete lack of sympathy and understanding of Ariana having gone through a similar situation herself. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Lala & Randall	Ariana & Tom
Started dating when Randall was fully married.	Started dating after Tom and Kristen broke up, though they had made out when he was still dating her and told Ariana “we were on a break.” It’s giving Ross Geller.
Had a baby together and were dating/engaged for nearly six years.	Bought a house together and were in a relationship for nearly ten years.
In an effort to protect him from scrutiny about their relationship timeline, Lala hid Randall’s identity before his divorce was finalized.	In an effort to humiliate Kristen and protect her boyfriend, Ariana lied on behalf of Tom in the case of Miami girl.
Randall had allegedly been cheating on Lala the entire time they were together and was running a casting couch situation.	Tom slept with Ariana’s close friend, Rachel, for months under her nose with the full knowledge of mutual friends.
Lala threatened to sever ties with people who remained associated with Randall after their break-up (ex: Schwartz playing pickleball with him).	Ariana threatened to sever ties with people who remained friends with Tom as she did not want him having any sort of access to her life.
Situation is prolonged dealing with a custody battle.	Situation is prolonged by being on the same reality show and neither being willing to give up the house.
Treated Ariana as if she was being an emotional terrorist, gave her shit for not being over it, and mended her relationship with Tom.	Was supportive of Lala during her difficult time like any normal friend would be.

The point of all this is to say that while Lala acted very similarly to Ariana after going through an earth-shattering breakup, she has absolutely no sympathy for Ariana whilst going through an extremely similar situation. If anyone were to be sympathetic to her, you would think it would be Lala. Yet, this woman manages to be rude, unkind, and impatient with a fellow scorned woman. It has been a real bummer to watch Lala not support Ariana and continuously go against so much of what has made me love her over the years.

I thought you were better than this honey.

Last time we checked in, I was very much falling for the shit pouring out of Tom Schwartz’s mouth. His efforts to separate himself from his involvement in the Scandoval and come out on the good side of history was really working on me. Unfortunately for him, this whole act fell apart when we got a closer glimpse into his relationship with Jo. The “good boy” exterior Schwartz likes to portray becomes sinister when you realize that he is weaponizing it in order to come across as innocent as he strings poor Jo along.

Before we get too far into this though I want to say that Tom’s mixed signals and mistreatment of her is the only sympathy I will grant to Jo. She does not deserve any sort of grace or kindness from Katie and the fact that she thinks she does is baffling to me. Anyway, back to Tom.

This guy is such a snake! For years we watched him constantly take the beautiful and brooding Katie Maloney for granted, rarely siding with her in any argument – especially those that involved his actual love: Tom Sandoval. It was gross and honestly sad to watch Katie constantly hope for better out of a man who was showing all his cards to her. Then they break up and he does the whole “let’s be friends” bit before completely going against Katie’s one request in the breakup just to spite her. Come on man! THEN we find out he only hooked up with someone in the group to cover up that fact that this someone – Rachel – was hooking up with Tom freaking Sandoval. Is he calculated and villainous or just dumb? I really wasn’t sure until I saw what he did to Jo.

Here is a perfectly innocent girl. Is she a little fame hungry and excited to be on TV? Sure! But that is also how the likes of James, Ally, Lala, and Rachel all got onto this TV show. Sleeping your way onto Vanderpump Rules is clearly a fruitful pipeline. Is she a little neurotic? I mean this woman is like the poster child for ADHD and I will admit it is a bit endearing until it isn’t. Is she in the wrong about how she got here? Of course! But does she deserve to be manipulated and breadcrumbed by a 41-year old man child? No she does not.

Tom is constantly telling this woman that he isn’t ready for a relationship, yet they are sleeping together and he is allegedly saying that he loves her. He calls her his best friend and jokes about them getting married, but also feels like he is in the right to make out with other girls in front of Jo. From the outside she looks a little naive believing all of his bullshit, but most of us also know exactly why she is turning away from the ugly truth. SHE IS CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN!!! Maybe if she sticks around, he will be ready and she will be there for him! Maybe if she becomes friends with his friends and they approve of her, he will realize she is the one for him! Her feelings toward him have put blinders up that prevent her from seeing the reality of the situation. He doesn’t want to date Jo, but he enjoys her company.

Thanks to Tom Sandoval continuing to be the scum of the Earth, Schwartz kind of gets away with one here. People will remember what he did, but it won’t reverberate in the way that it honestly should.

The only other things that seem to be happening for him this season are a hilarious dye job and an unhealthy adoration for his plants.

You can say a lot of things about Ms. Scheana Marie, but inconsistent is not one of them. Here is a woman who wants everyone to love her and in her efforts to do so makes everyone kind of hate her. In her efforts to mend her relationship with Tom Sandoval that “means soooooo much to her” she rustles Katie and Ariana’s feathers. Then, in an effort to be there for Ariana and “process her own feelings” she rebuffs Sandoval. It’s almost like she is stuck in a constant cycle of switching sides never to realize that there isn’t really an option for everyone to love her.

Scheana’s arc this season is, truthfully, more like a continuous circle than anything else. But what is most baffling about it is her complete lack of self-awareness when discussing her relationship with Sandoval. It’s true that she cannot discuss with Brock because he is perpetually trying to get people to mend fences with Sandoval for the sake of filming – more on that little troll later – but she also has James, Lala, Katie, and even Schwartz as options to discuss this with. Instead she goes straight to Ariana and feels the need to talk things through with her directly. It makes not one shred of sense. I get that Ariana is your bestie and you would prefer to talk things through with her, but come on Scheana. This is the last thing Ariana wants to talk about and it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

But this is why we love Scheana. She is a silly, little woman who has never waivered from being a cringe-tastic reality star. Though admittedly, not enough of a star to be on Dancing with the Stars. Scheana has been on reality TV now for nearly twelve years and watched herself do some pretty ridiculous stuff – her music, her break-up with Shay, her entire relationship with Rob, her entry onto the show literally being about her having an affair with Eddie Cibrian…the list goes on. She has watched it all and yet made no real effort to change anything about herself. She is self-aware and is somehow content with consistently acting like an absolute fool on national television. You have to hand it to her, it’s a kind of shamelessness you need to be good on guilty pleasure TV.

Katie is in her element this year. After years of having her relationship undermined and her boyfriend-turned-husband gaslit by Tom Sandoval, he fucks up in a way that makes hating him just as chic as her haircut. The moment Katie has been waiting for is here and it looks so good on her. Being an amazing and supportive girl friend in a cast full of unsupportive women? Check. Coming in to her own fashion-wise? Check. Blessing the internet with reaction memes and sassy remarks? Double check. I have been a Katie fan for so long and it’s amazing to see so many – even if it is begrudgingly – come over onto team Katie.

In all seriousness, it has been a pleasure to watch Katie be so supportive of Ariana. Her “I’m so over it” energy is so perfectly counterbalanced by her unwavering loyalty to her friend. Dare I say she is the MVP of the season? Here are a few moments that she shined that I would love to enter into consideration for her to receive this fake designation I just made up:

• After Tom broke Katie’s one post-divorce rule last season – “don’t hook up with anyone in the friend group” – Katie unapologetically sleeps with his friend Max Boyens just because she can. Queen shit.
• Her very simple breakdown of the Tom Sandoval situation: “Everyone is trying to make this Sandoval situation a lot more nuanced than it actually is. When a guy fucks over your friend, fuck the guy!”
• The way she absolutely hates Jax Taylor’s guts and will not back down. Oh yeah, and the way that it drives him absolutely crazy.
• “I can’t do any right in people’s eyes, so I might as well do all the wrong.”
• She can take a verbal shit on Tom Sandoval’s head on behalf of her friend and not fall for his manipulation tactics.
• There is not one moment where she waivers from Ariana’s side. As always, Katie is one loyal sidekick. Never change, my queen.

As for the rest of Katie’s plot this season, I am convinced more and more that Tom Schwartz and her are more in love than ever before. The way they are both chasing after the same pre-pubescent girl? They have so much in common! The fact that Tom asks her for a one-night stand and even though she turns it down, she is unable to hide her smirk? I have butterflies! Their chemistry is weirdly out of this world this year even though their divorce is completely finalized and their marriage is put to bed. I kind of love it even though Tom is a sheepish loser who is not even remotely good enough for her.

I just want Katie to be happy and find love, if that involves going back to Tom Schwartz? So be it, I guess.

I think I need an intervention, because I am kinda into James right now. It’s a problem.

Let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room that we all know to be true: James Kennedy is a problematic guy. The way he has treated people, especially women, on this show has been a disgrace over the years. Even when granted the grace of having a serious issue with alcohol, a troubled relationship with his parents, and the fact that he has essentially grown up in front of our eyes – it’s clear he’s not a good guy. Right now though, the bar for “good guy” is so low on VPR that James looks like a hero. If that doesn’t tell you how absolutely strange and out of sorts this season is, I don’t know what will.

Regardless of his next-level asshole energy, James has always been iconic on this show. His lines and ridiculous moments have become legendary over the years – see: “It’s not about the pasta!” and, my personal favorite, “PUMPTINI!” for reference. This year has been no exception. His own plotline has been kind of snooze-worthy if you think too much about it. The Ally relationship is so boring that I am dozing off just writing this sentence, Hippie had his moment but quickly got tired, and his attempt to forgive Tom wasn’t very convincing. What we did get from James, that made him one of the best of this season, were his reactions to the madness around him and, of course, my favorite moment of the entire season: the evisceration of Thomas Sandoval.

When I tell you that I screeched when James went absolutely in on Tom. It was the most amazingly unhinged version of James that we have come to fear, but this time he used his powers for good! He took down the parts of Tom that only a truly hurt friend could. Did he apologize after it? Sure, but the damage had been done and will live forever on our screens.

James didn’t need to have an interesting season, because he had the most satisfying moment in the midst of a maddening season. For that, I will always love him.

Lisa Vanderpump

Lisa who? The woman for whom this show is named has basically disappeared from the screen. There are other, more important things going on in her life. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but she is opening up a new restaurant in Tahoe. Oh and she has a whole ass other show on Hulu, Vanderpump Villa. This show and this group are basically old news for Lisa Vanderpump which kind of makes you ask the question…why is this show still happening when the driver of it has all but completely moved on?

We got some classic Lisa moments this season though, so it’s wasn’t all for naught. Her businesses were front and center with Wolf opening in Tahoe, Pump officially closing, and brunch hitting her other restaurants like a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. She got her dog moment with James and Hippie. Ken has reached his minimum amount of screen time to show us he is still alive and sassy as ever. There was perverted innuendo both directed at and directly from Lisa regarding Lala’s sperm donor party. And of course, she faced off with Jax.

Even during a slow season, I still relished the moments Ms. Vanderpump graced our screen.

Ally Lewber

Ally is someone I could probably be friends with in real life. This is to say, a reality TV personality she is not. Her tone and penchant for not picking a side is banal at best. Her astrological readings are silly, but don’t entertain as much as we all want them to. She lacks the unhinged, reckless abandonment of a true Vanderpump Rules personality.

Not to mention I think her entire relationship with James is a sham. The conversation the two of them had about having kids said it all to me. She described not feeling the call to have kids in the way some of her friends did and diagnosed that as not wanting kids. The reality that most women know is even if you don’t feel the call, you can still want children. It’s when you genuinely have an aversion to children – for whatever reason – that you know it’s not for you. What Ally is saying screams “I want to have kids, I just don’t know if I want to have your kids” to me. Yikes.

Who knows, they could end up happily ever after with Hippie, Mr. Banks, and a million other little pets living under some flight path somewhere. I just think it will always be a little forced on her end if they do.

Brock Davies

I’m ready to say it. I really don’t like this guy.

Brock has given me the ick all season for a variety of reasons. First off, he was an absolute stooge for production. Even going as far as pushing his wife to give Tom Sandoval another chance and consistently – thankfully, unsuccessfully – trying to make Ariana into the villain. It’s literally like production had a voice in his ear telling him to urge people to try and film together for the sake of the show. He didn’t do a very good job of hiding his efforts either.

Then we have the fact that he is an absolute asshole to Scheana. I am not going to sit here and act like Scheana isn’t an asshole herself, because she is, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching yet another guy shit all over her. Does she have bad taste or is she just ignoring the red flags? You tell me. Either way, it was kind of sad to watch how unsupportive and selfish Brock was this season in regards to his relationships with Scheana. The only real shining moment came when he stood up for Scheana after Tom brought up the fact that she was once the other woman. But even then, he had just been yelling at Scheana in front of a party of people. What a class act this guy is.

Here are some of the places Brock yelled at Scheana this year in case you don’t believe his toxicity:

• Tahoe
• A swimsuit store in LA
• Their home
• A party at James’ house

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but only one bullet point on that list would be a red flag, let alone four. It’s a no from me. You deserve better Scheana, grab Summer Moon and get out of there!

Jo

This poor, strange woman. Why did you get caught up in the docile spiderweb that is Tom Schwartz’s charisma?!

The amount of air time Jo got this season was both extremely unnecessary and a sign to me that the producers do not like Schwartz. Her amount of time on screen only furthered the idea that Tom is being a different person off screen, leading this girl on, and being a complete snake to women. I hope Katie reveled in it. She was also just…boring. I still can’t believe we got an entire scene of Lala and Jo grabbing hot dogs. It felt very forced and unnecessary, like the producers just needed to fill more time in to get the season to a specific number of episodes.

Beyond all that though, Jo made me very sad. No one likes to see someone get strung along by some Muppet of a man. It’s hard not to feel bad for Jo, when so many of us know what it is like to try and rationalize your way through a situation with a person who is simply not willing even the minimum of what you deserve.

The whole thing was a bummer to watch and I’m sad that I was even witness to it. Tom Schwartz, you suck. Jo, I don’t really have any desire to ever see you again and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Go live your life off of the TV screen!

Tom Sandoval

At some point this season I stopped being disgusted and offended by everything Tom did and started to laugh at how pathetic and ridiculous he is. It really made watching this season more fun. From the moment James laid into Tom, it was all up hill in my eyes. There were a few scenes where he simply could not restrain his trash behavior and let absolute sludge slip out of his mouth. It was wonderful to see it recorded for all to witness. Though he tried his darndest to be a victim, he ultimately ended up being the same old trash bag we have come to know him as over the years.

Not to mention that ending? “I love it. It’s good for me”?! In the end this man has once again revealed himself to be the master manipulator that Ariana has been labeling him as all season long. So glad you think this worked out so well for you, Sandoval! I can’t wait to see his face and hear how he tries to defend himself after the cast watches this together at the reunion. But more than that, I can’t wait to watch him fail.